An experience resulting in emotional distress led to a broadened perspective pertaining to the shortness of life through which the value of existence was emphasized. While exploring ways to adapt to and overcome the challenges following the loss of my father, I’d reflected on what it must’ve been like for others who had experienced similar loss, particularly my father’s own experience of losing his father at just three years old. Reassured, my situation could’ve been worse. Nonetheless, I chose to “count my blessings.”
Life does not order from us, nor force upon, the feelings of heartache & stress, depression & anger; rather, we are gifted the ability to feel these waves of emotions and abrupt changes within our mood. It is our duty to embrace these feelings, as deemed appropriate and beneficial to our well-being. However, easier said than done…
Following my father’s death, I was given a choice to grieve with anger & frustration- which I very well did- or to rise above the occasion and seek empowerment and strength in it all- which I also did, though not until several years later. I suppressed his memory in attempt to reduce ongoing heartache and pain- a temporary fix at most. Nearly a decade had passed before I could speak of him to others comfortably & vulnerably. Because I still had a choice…
What changed?
My long-term response was largely influenced by past experiences (i.e., how I’d been raised, what/who I’d been exposed to). For much of my life, I’d been surrounded by positive & affluential folks; the support was always within arm’s reach. As demonstrated by my parents, I was taught to love and be strong, to respect others & demonstrate compassion, to work hard and have fun, most importantly to be authentic, courageous, kind & patient even during life’s toughest moments. I’d gained an archive of helpful tools & resources simply from the example of others. Once realized, I chose then to apply.
Amidst the anguish, I allowed myself to spend countless hours in deep introspection through which I'd learned to accept & embrace not only death but the phases of life that have occurred thus far, many of which seemingly have provided exceptional value over the years.
“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.” -J.K. Rowling
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Having experienced such difficult loss, I gained qualities that may be used to assist others should they suffer the loss of a friend or family member. From providing the safe space & unconditional support to the common understanding and acceptance of death, I was able to offer myself in ways others couldn’t. Thus, I chose to use this experience to make me [stronger] instead of break me. I’d developed the intent and drive to change for the better, and with that I did.
A person’s ability to turn the worst possible situation into a positive experience in which he or she becomes stronger, more resilient, loving & understanding, is an ultimate symbol of character & spirit. As for myself, I was challenged and tested, pushed to new limits, and evolved into a greater version of myself; still not the best version, but improving by the day!
As I’ve come to accept and honor death for myself and others, my life has since offered an abundance of opportunity & adventure, newfound friendships & better health, unforgettable experiences & everlasting joy.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
– Mark Twain
The death of my father marks the birth of Mountain-Made; for it is the mountain which possesses my father’s spirit that helped shape me into the man I am today.
If you’re curious to learn how the mountain transformed my relationship with death thus further enhancing my success in life, please reach out!
Son of Mark
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